Hiring Body Doubles To Run My Life


(swoosh) (whoosh) – Thank you all for being here. Now as you may know, my life is about to get a lot busier with
my show, endorsements, YouTube, washing my hair, et cetera. So you’ve all been chosen
to be my body doubles. – Um. Don’t you think people will
be able to tell we aren’t you? – Nah. I’ve learned that we all look
the same to white people. I mean NBC is still
addressing me as Mindy Kaling. – Ah. – Okay, so, you need
to learn how to be me. Because while I shoot my show, some of you will attend meetings, some of you will do my conference calls, some of you will even be fulfilling my therapy sessions, okay? Because my therapist thinks we need more “work life balance.” (laugh) We think she’s overreacting. – Uh, what kind of music do we like? – See, we like rap music
but we’re conflicted because we’re also feminists,
yeah so we just pretend that we don’t understand
what the word ‘thot’ means. But unlike rappers, we’re cheap. – Wait, I thought we were rich. – Oh, we are. So rich. But we got rich by being
cheap, you know, they say fine dining, we say Costco samples. – Shit. – Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We actually don’t swear, okay, we love when other people swear
but it doesn’t sound right when we do it, okay, one of the various ways
we’ve suppressed ourselves. We prefer words like fudge. Fudge you. Fudgsicle. Motherfudger. Son of a fudge. – Do we like fudge? – Hate it. More of a Skittles person. (crunch) Okay, listen. If you attend a meeting for
me there’s a 100% chance it’ll be with a group of white men. Here’s what you do. Tell a joke about not being a doctor. They love that. (laugh) And then use buzz words like
diversity, multi-cultural, inclusion, minority, woman of color. – Uh, do you think I
can say woman of color? Don’t you think they would
catch on at that point? – Trust me, if they
correct you, they’re racist and no one wants to be
racist in public, okay? Sexist, maybe. But racist. At least once a meeting,
convert a fraction into a percentage because half the time, it allows them to make an easy joke about Indians being good at math. – So like, 50% of the time? – Good girl. Because that makes them feel
funny and then we can laugh all the way to the bank. But first we stop by the
Costco for free samples. – What about dating? – Oh, well we like boys. And girls. Google it, you’ll be fine. – Are we good at relationships? – Um, we could be better. You know, I think we need
to get better at showing up for things that matter to us. I’m not really sure, therapy
group can you report back? Oh, on that note, could you
also let us know what the whole how to forgive adults for never showing us what love looks like thing? – Uh, have we ever been in love? – Yes. Once. With Dwayne Johnson and
that’s why we’ll support him in all of his endeavors no matter what. – In everything? Even the– – “The Tooth Fairy”? Yes. Okay, it was comedy. It was fantasy. It was commentary on what
it means to be human, what else do you need? – A plot? – All right, then. I think you’re ready. Now go out there and
be me, get outta here, get outta here. – This is insane. This is never gonna work. (footsteps) – God, they grow up so fast. That one girl’s prettier
than me but whatever. – Oh, my God are you Lilly Singh? – I love you. (laughs) – Smile.
(squeal) – No, smile bigger. – Lilly. It’s already working. I can’t believe that white
people can’t tell the difference. – I know, right? This is so funny. By the way, I didn’t want
to like, fangirl before but I just wanted to tell you, I loved you in “Slumdog Millionaire.” So good. Jai Ho. Classic. Ah. Thank you so much for watching this video. Look at me, I made a YouTube video. Go Lilly. I’m so excited, my new show “A
Little Late with Lilly Singh” premieres on NBC on September 16th. Uh, we just launched a YouTube Channel the link is in the description. You can click right there as well. But while you’re on my channel
make sure you subscribe you’re one love Lilly, that is a rap! (vocalizes)

100 thoughts on “Hiring Body Doubles To Run My Life

  1. psalm 92 verse 10 but my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn i shall be anointed with fresh oil
    blueletterbible.org

  2. Nbc show!!!!! Can't wait ๐Ÿ˜€ !!!! I got the name wrong at first but im here watching online i loveeee you!!!! Lili tonight at 1:35 ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. Yey!!!! Congrats!!!!! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑโš˜๐Ÿฅ€๐Ÿฅ€๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

  4. For the 3% reading this, I hope you become successful in life, with everything you dreamed of and accomplished more then you had imagined. I am a youtuber myself and I am not asking you to do anything but I would love to hit new subscribers. THANK YOU ALL OF YOUTUBE. Do Visit my channel once.

  5. Yes thank you for reminding me about your show. I really had trouble falling asleep last night, tried out your show and fell asleep within 19 minutes. I have a new show to put me to sleep so thank you

  6. WHITE PEOPLE BAD.
    Hahahahahahhahaha that's so funny please devote your entire career to these jokes.No other comedian does that nowadays,oh lilly you are so special, keep it up.

  7. I don't understand one lady she's ammillionhear his long so millionrear I think one day and so be poor it better becareful what she's say I promise I pray for her she's can not so up

  8. This show has me remembering and looking up old Julie Kavner videos, what a great actress she was before she landed the simpsons. I could watch her in a scene where she is doing absolutely nothing.

  9. @2:52–3:04

    When you're irreplaceable,truly one-of-a-kind,yet need multiple versions of yourself and aren't rich enough yet to clone.

    Also:the saddest thing I ever saw that wasn't actually a tearjearker.

  10. Jai ho! ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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